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~*LOVE*~

 
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la_shorty_pie
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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 9:18 AM    Post subject:  ~*LOVE*~ Reply with quote

MI CORAZON YA MURIO POR QUE ALLER ME DIJISTE QUE YA NO ME QUERIAS
MI CORAZON HAS DIED SINCE THEN ALL I DO IS CRY ALL NIGHT VEO EN TUS OJOS YA NO AY AMOR LLORAS Y NO SAVES QUE DECIR QUIEN MEA RROBADO YU CORAZON PERO ALL U NEED TO KNOW FROM ME ESQUEYO TODAVIA TE QUIERO Y QUE TODO ESTO QUE MEDICES TODO ESTO AMI SI ME DUELE. PERO YO YA EH INTENTADO OVIDARTE PEROSE QUE NO PUEDO PORQUE MI ALMA TE EXTRANA Y SOLO PIDO AMI DIOS ENCONTRAR UN NUEVO DESPERTAR.


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iPedro
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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 2:28 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

[Hmmm] I don't think tihs was a joke.. So I'll move this out of the jokes and funnies and into the General Forum for now.


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chicano
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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 5:12 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

The poem itself is a joke. [Hmmm]

Sorry, I'm just very honest when it comes to poetry. You should of organized it a bit better too.


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aha Y0UR MiNE.. jUP Mi0.. S0 fCK EVERY0NE ELSE.. CUZ i L0VE
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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 6:34 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

chicano dijo:
The poem itself is a joke. [Hmmm]

Sorry, I'm just very honest when it comes to poetry. You should of organized it a bit better too.






Um, who are you to say its a joke, this is her writing and her feelings damn.... [Rolling Eyes]


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chicano
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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 6:38 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

Quote:
Um, who are you to say its a joke, this is her writing and her feelings damn.... [Rolling Eyes]


It was just my opinion, geez.


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her [9:59 P.M.]: phss im never letting you go..
i'll be bugging you if your not with me.. cuz you know what?
aha Y0UR MiNE.. jUP Mi0.. S0 fCK EVERY0NE ELSE.. CUZ i L0VE
Y0U & iM G0NNA BE WiTH Y0U f0REVER. Y0UR tHE 0NE f0R ME.

Right..

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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 6:40 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

chicano dijo:
Quote:
Um, who are you to say its a joke, this is her writing and her feelings damn.... [Rolling Eyes]


It was just my opinion, geez.




Geeze, maybe if you are going to be that harsh you shouldnt say anything since you are a mod. and stuff....ya know just a thought....? [ :?]


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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 7:50 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

geez erica, calm down. i see what u mean by him being the moderator and i think ur right, hes gotta give some props instead of putting her work down. so yea chicano... even if u didnt like it give anyone the props for trying or finding their own way to take out feelings


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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 9:32 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

ur1nonly dijo:
geez erica, calm down. i see what u mean by him being the moderator and i think ur right, hes gotta give some props instead of putting her work down. so yea chicano... even if u didnt like it give anyone the props for trying or finding their own way to take out feelings


Well yeah, I give her props for trying to make some lines and put her heart out and express herself in words instead of actions, but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to critisize in a negative way. After all, this is a public forum and not every post is going to be "good job" or "i loved it". I have always thought this way, and if I were to write a poem, I would want the audience to be as honest as possible so I can improve on it in my next poem. When it comes to poetry, I can be a little "harsh", but it's honesty. :/


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her [9:59 P.M.]: phss im never letting you go..
i'll be bugging you if your not with me.. cuz you know what?
aha Y0UR MiNE.. jUP Mi0.. S0 fCK EVERY0NE ELSE.. CUZ i L0VE
Y0U & iM G0NNA BE WiTH Y0U f0REVER. Y0UR tHE 0NE f0R ME.

Right..

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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 10:07 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

I like how she used Spanglish in her poem. []

If she really did not want people to make any kind of criticism to her poem, she would of kept it private. Poetry is beautiful and even the "harshest" criticism should only make the author want to improve, like Chicano has already stated.

If everyones criticisim were the same, it would be a boring world.

Just the fact that we are discussing her peom should give her even more animo to continue writing her poetry.


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*~PRiNCESS~*
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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Wed, Oct 10 2007, 8:38 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

iT WAS AN ALRiGhT =)


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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Mon, Jan 14 2008, 2:13 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

I give you props for trying and having a bit of a creative itch, however the poem itself needs to be organized better and worked on to make it easier for the readers to enjoy. keep at it! All you can do is get better!


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3lmo 3lmo miss diana
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View Single PostView Single Post PostPosted: Thu, May 01 2008, 2:02 PM    Post subject:   Reply with quote

you should have added some more and made it a concrete poem, serio


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