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~*LOVE*~

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la_shorty_pie
Antojito

Joined: Sep 19 2007
Posts: 1

1068.20

View Single Post Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 9:18 AM Post subject: ~LOVE~

MI CORAZON YA MURIO POR QUE ALLER ME DIJISTE QUE YA NO ME QUERIAS MI CORAZON HAS DIED SINCE THEN ALL I DO IS CRY ALL NIGHT VEO EN TUS OJOS YA NO AY AMOR LLORAS Y NO SAVES QUE DECIR QUIEN MEA RROBADO YU CORAZON PERO ALL U NEED TO KNOW FROM ME ESQUEYO TODAVIA TE QUIERO Y QUE TODO ESTO QUE MEDICES TODO ESTO AMI SI ME DUELE. PERO YO YA EH INTENTADO OVIDARTE PEROSE QUE NO PUEDO PORQUE MI ALMA TE EXTRANA Y SOLO PIDO AMI DIOS ENCONTRAR UN NUEVO DESPERTAR. Current Mood:

iPedro
Omnipresent

Joined: Aug 02 2004
Posts: 8085
Location: Juarolandia

votes: 3

82246.43

View Single Post Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 2:28 PM Post subject:

I don't think tihs was a joke.. So I'll move this out of the jokes and funnies and into the General Forum for now. Current Mood:

chicano
Moderator

Joined: Jan 10 2007
Posts: 1069
Location: Los Angeles
Reputation: 4.9

votes: 2

95582.20

View Single Post Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 5:12 PM Post subject:

The poem itself is a joke. Sorry, I'm just very honest when it comes to poetry. You should of organized it a bit better too. Current Mood: _________________ her [9:59 P.M.]: phss im never letting you go.. i'll be bugging you if your not with me.. cuz you know what? aha Y0UR MiNE.. jUP Mi0.. S0 fCK EVERY0NE ELSE.. CUZ i L0VE Y0U & iM G0NNA BE WiTH Y0U f0REVER. Y0UR tHE 0NE f0R ME. Right..

Pika_Guerita
*Bang Bang*
Agua sta' Caliente

Joined: Dec 28 2004
Posts: 4093
Location: Michigan
Reputation: 16.8

votes: 2

53424.49

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Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 6:34 PM Post subject:

	chicano dijo:
	The poem itself is a joke. Sorry, I'm just very honest when it comes to poetry. You should of organized it a bit better too.

Um, who are you to say its a joke, this is her writing and her feelings damn.... [Rolling Eyes]

Current Mood: Llovebirds
_________________
Es tan corto el amor
y es tan largo el olvido.

chicano
Moderator

Joined: Jan 10 2007
Posts: 1069
Location: Los Angeles
Reputation: 4.9

votes: 2

95582.20

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Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 6:38 PM Post subject:

	Quote:
	Um, who are you to say its a joke, this is her writing and her feelings damn....

It was just my opinion, geez.

Current Mood: Moo
_________________

her [9:59 P.M.]: phss im never letting you go..
i'll be bugging you if your not with me.. cuz you know what?
aha Y0UR MiNE.. jUP Mi0.. S0 fCK EVERY0NE ELSE.. CUZ i L0VE
Y0U & iM G0NNA BE WiTH Y0U f0REVER. Y0UR tHE 0NE f0R ME.

Right..

Pika_Guerita
*Bang Bang*
Agua sta' Caliente

Joined: Dec 28 2004
Posts: 4093
Location: Michigan
Reputation: 16.8

votes: 2

53424.49

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Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 6:40 PM Post subject:

chicano dijo:

	Quote:
	Um, who are you to say its a joke, this is her writing and her feelings damn....

It was just my opinion, geez.

Geeze, maybe if you are going to be that harsh you shouldnt say anything since you are a mod. and stuff....ya know just a thought....? [ :?]

Current Mood: Llovebirds
_________________
Es tan corto el amor
y es tan largo el olvido.

ur1nonly
° i miss elmo =( °
Juaroleñ@

Joined: Aug 14 2007
Posts: 3673
Location: REYNOSA, TMPS
Reputation: 16.4

votes: 4

261647.41

View Single Post Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 7:50 PM Post subject:

geez erica, calm down. i see what u mean by him being the moderator and i think ur right, hes gotta give some props instead of putting her work down. so yea chicano... even if u didnt like it give anyone the props for trying or finding their own way to take out feelings _________________ numeros para las cuentas la mano para el amigo caricias para las hombres balas pa' los enemigos

chicano
Moderator

Joined: Jan 10 2007
Posts: 1069
Location: Los Angeles
Reputation: 4.9

votes: 2

95582.20

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Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 9:32 PM Post subject:

	ur1nonly dijo:
	geez erica, calm down. i see what u mean by him being the moderator and i think ur right, hes gotta give some props instead of putting her work down. so yea chicano... even if u didnt like it give anyone the props for trying or finding their own way to take out feelings

Well yeah, I give her props for trying to make some lines and put her heart out and express herself in words instead of actions, but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to critisize in a negative way. After all, this is a public forum and not every post is going to be "good job" or "i loved it". I have always thought this way, and if I were to write a poem, I would want the audience to be as honest as possible so I can improve on it in my next poem. When it comes to poetry, I can be a little "harsh", but it's honesty. :/

iPedro
Omnipresent

Joined: Aug 02 2004
Posts: 8085
Location: Juarolandia

votes: 3

82246.43

View Single Post Posted: Tue, Oct 02 2007, 10:07 PM Post subject:

I like how she used Spanglish in her poem. If she really did not want people to make any kind of criticism to her poem, she would of kept it private. Poetry is beautiful and even the "harshest" criticism should only make the author want to improve, like Chicano has already stated. If everyones criticisim were the same, it would be a boring world. Just the fact that we are discussing her peom should give her even more animo to continue writing her poetry. Current Mood:

*~PRiNCESS~*
Antojito

Joined: Oct 10 2007
Posts: 25

312.49

View Single Post Posted: Wed, Oct 10 2007, 8:38 PM Post subject:

iT WAS AN ALRiGhT =) Current Mood: _________________ 8-6-07 A REAL GiRL i`SNT PERfECT, A PERfECT GiRL i`SNT REAL.

niyorco
I can get used to this

Joined: Jan 10 2008
Posts: 190

Reputation: 1.1

4601.72

View Single Post Posted: Mon, Jan 14 2008, 2:13 PM Post subject:

I give you props for trying and having a bit of a creative itch, however the poem itself needs to be organized better and worked on to make it easier for the readers to enjoy. keep at it! All you can do is get better! _________________ Niyorco Books Presents: "Lockdown -- a barrio tale" A Chicano Urban theme novel. Now available through myspace! Check it out in myspace blogs! http://myspace.com/Niyorco

3lmo Put Your Head On My Shoulder
Como un sueño

Joined: Sep 25 2007
Posts: 1288
Location: Check the Phoogle Map
Reputation: 4.8

votes: 3

13091.16

View Single Post Posted: Thu, May 01 2008, 2:02 PM Post subject:

you should have added some more and made it a concrete poem, serio Current Mood:

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	Juarol.com Forum Index -> Writer's Lounge
Page 1 of 1

	Forum	Replies	Last Post
what is it ?fuck love or love it? by: la nene	Relationships and Advice	2	Thu, Jun 12 2008, 6:36 AM ur1nonly
hey i'm just looking for love: by: cchwnn	Relationships and Advice	46	Sat, Feb 11 2006, 3:43 PM siLLy
Love is... by: SweetSmiley22	Humor	14	Fri, May 12 2006, 11:59 PM Salsita
love by: chicanas3xy13	Relationships and Advice	11	Mon, Jan 28 2008, 12:33 PM SHADCHA
Would you do it for love? by: TNMORENA	Relationships and Advice	13	Fri, Dec 01 2006, 10:24 AM caker

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