I have something on my mind so I'm gonna write it here.


To back up and explain the chronological history of how it all went down .....

My family is about as dysfunctional as they get. My aunt basically has a really bad gambling addiction. And it doesn't help that she lives right next to a casino on a reservation. But anyways, early on she was spending all her money at the casinos instead of paying the bills. My cousins were always in really shabby clothing that didn't fit too well. My aunt had bills piling up and collection notices and collectors becoming more of a daily nuisance. She wasnt taking care of her family anymore.

When my cousin became a teenager, he dropped out of high school and got a full time job to help with the bills. UNTIL he got involved in the gang lifestyle and found out that he could get money a lot faster and in greater quantity. Of course it wasn't the right way to do it, but he was able to help pay all the bills and his mother was able to continue to spend her paychecks at the casinos. She in fact encouraged his behavior, I later found out.

Anyways, he finally got busted doing what he was doing 2 years ago and sat in a county jail awaiting sentencing. And that finally has happened as of yesterday. They gave him 9 years (which is MUCH better than originally anticipated -- they actually threatened him with 20+ yrs.)

I feel so bad for him in a way, but I mean he did do it to himself. I just feel angry at my aunt. I mean if it weren't for her bad parenting and gambling habit, maybe he wouldn't be where he is now... He's only 20 years old and his life is ruined! It's so sad.

I always contemplated bringing my cousin to live with me and get him out of the state into a better environment. Maybe I should have done that years back when I had the opportunity to... but oh well..

Yeah I know...

At least he didn't get the 20 years or more like they thought!

Wow Nessa, I'm really sorry to hear that.

It makes me SO angry when parents put anything before their kids .. these kids are put in our care in trust - and God knows it's only for a little while .. they grow up all too fast.

It's really sad to hear that your cousin resorted to what was easy and not what was right - altho he didn't have any kind of role model, that's for sure!!

It doesn't sound like he stood any kind of chance with a mom like that.

I'm just sorry for him - he's so young!!

[font=Comic Sans MS] It isn't really your aunts fault on what happened with your cousin. Yeah, he did went the wrong path, but he CHOSE that lifestyle. Your cousin didn't have to go down that road even if his mom was spending all her money in gambling instead of on her financial problems. He couold of gotten a better job instead. [/font]

Yeah I definitely know my cousin had a choice, but on the other hand I wonder if the outcome would have been the same had my aunt have been a responsible parent, as well. You know? But who knows... either way he's paying for the choices he made in life. A hard lesson to learn, for sure.

As for my aunt, she's been really emotional and even suicidal at times since he got arrested 2 years ago. She tried to overdose on pills at least 2x since this happened. And we all know she at least feels responsible in some manner to carry that kind of guilt. I just hope she doesnt end up hurting herself in the end, or it'll just be double the tragedy.

Well in all honesty the responsibility lied on both of them and they are both to blame for what happened.
Life doesn't give us a manual but we all have to be held responsible for our choices in life.
I hope both your aunt as well as your cousin learn the lesson and move forward instead of backwards.

Wow....sorry to hear that Nessa! It's really sad what happened to your cousin but what's done is done and hopefully this serves as a huge life lesson to him ya know!! i know he's sentenced nine years but as he had a choice before he got locked up, he'll definitely have a choice when he gets out. Either to fall back into that path or choose to make better choices for "himself" !!!! he's still young and will still be young when time is served so he just needs to be strong and get ahead.....and having family like you who care a lot.....will definitely serve as a postivie thing!!!

As for your aunt.....the addiction she had/has is just that, and addiction. And as easy as it may be for other people to say that if she saw her family suffering she should have stopped. Unless you get help for those addictions that take over you....or are seriously that strong of a person to get out of it yourself, it's hard to do no matter what the circumstances. Now....it seems she might be seeing the consequences of her choices she made but can't do anything to turn some of those around! Hopefully, she can turn herself around and pick herself up from all that. I'm sure it's all taking it's toll on her!!! And that's sad but in a way, to be expected!!!

I wish the best for both of them.....well....for your whole family Nessa!!!!

^^ totally agree with Brown eyes.

Best wishes to the family. Those kinds of situations are never easy to deal with. :rosa:

Thanks everyone!

Yeah it's just one side of my family that's like this... it's NO reflection of me..