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Lonewolf
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 View Single Post Posted: Wed, May 21 2008, 12:20 PM Post subject: I NEED OPINIONS
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HERE'S THE DEAL, A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO I WAS INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE. I REALLY REALLY WANTED THINGS TO WORK OUT FOR US, BUT AT THE TIME I WAS WITH ONE FOOT IN AND ONE FOOT OUT IN MY MARRIAGE. NEEDLESS TO SAY EVEN THOUGH I WAS UPFRONT WITH MY WIFE AT THE TIME AND FESSED UP, READY TO MOVE OUT AND ALL THAT, MY WIFE EVEN THOUGH SHE ASSURED ME THAT SHE WOULD STEP ASIDE, SHE DID NOT AND KILLED IT FOR ME. WITHOUT GOING INTO THOSE DETAILS, THINGS BROKE DOWN WITH THIS PERSON AND I. . EVENTUALLY SHE CARRIED ON AND I REMAINED AT HOME. BUT EVEN THOUGH THINGS DID NOT WORK OUT AT THE TIME, WE HOWEVER CONTINUED TO CROSS PATHS BECAUSE OF OUR JOBS AND WE CONTINUED TO BE FRIENDS. SHE KNOWS I CARE FOR HER, AND I CAN READ IT IN HER EYES AND HEAR IT IN HER WORDS TO ME THAT SHE STILL HAS SOME FEELINGS FOR ME TOO. JUST RECENTLY WE BEGAN TALKING MORE AND MORE, LITTLE THINGS FOR THE MOST PART, HOWS THINGS WITH THIS OR THAT, YOU KNOW, SMALL TALK FOR THE MOST PART, BUT HERE'S THE THING THAT I NEED SOME OPINIONS ON. SHE IS AN OFFICER HERSELF BUT WITH A DIFFERENT AGENCY THAN MINE, AND THE FACT IS THAT OUR AGENCY IS ONE OF THE MOST COVETED JOBS ALL AROUND FOR MANY REASONS. SO WHENEVER OUR UNION ALLOWS FOR AN INCREASE IN POSITIONS TO BE FILLED OR WHEN THERE'S AN OPENING AVAILABLE, ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE RUSH TO PUT IN THEIR APPLICATIONS AND HIT US UP FOR A WORD IN. SO EVEN THOUGH WE ARE A GOVERNMENT ENTITY AND CERTAIN CRITERIA HAS TO BE MET BY APPLICANTS, THERE'S STILL SOME RECOMMENDATIONS THAT WEIGH IN ON WHO GETS AN INTERVIEW AND WHO IS FAVORED TO GET THE JOB. SO HERE I FIND MYSELF IN THE INTERVIEW PANEL THAT WILL ULTIMATELY DECIDE ON FILLING IN TWO POSITIONS OUT OF A POOL OF PEOPLE TO BE INTERVIEWED. SHE HAS NEVER EVEN GOT TO AN INTERVIEW IN ALL THE PAST TIMES SHE HAS FILED, SO HERE WE ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION AND SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE KEEPS GETTING ONLY LETTERS OF THANKS BUT NO THANKS. I FELT FOR HER BECAUSE I KNOW THAT A POSITION WITH US WILL GREATLY ENHANCE HER ECONOMIC SITUATION AND HELP HER OUT WITH HER DAILY DREADS. SHE HAD PREVIOUSLY ASKED ME TO HELP HER OUT WITH HER RESUME, BUT I WENT ONE STEP FURTHER THIS TIME AND GOT ASSURANCES THAT SHE WILL BE GIVEN AN INTERVIEW. SO HERE I AM NOW, LOOKING AT THIS AND THINKING, WOW, AM I GOING TO BE FAIR AND IMPARTIAL OR WILL I LEAN A LITTLE IN HER FAVOR? WHAT IF SHE DOES NOT GET THE POSITION, WILL THAT PUT ME IN A POSITION WHERE SHE WILL PROBABLY THINK OF ME LIKE "WHY YOU GIVE ME HOPES AND THEN BRING ME BACK DOWN" OR MAYBE IF SHE DOES GET THE JOB, WILL THAT THEN HAVE UNDESIRED CONSEQUENCES EITHER IN AN ADVERSE OR PRO WAY IN A POSSIBLE RESURGENCE OF WHAT WE ONCE TRIED TO HAVE?
I'M A WHIRLWIND OF TOUGHTS RIGHT NOW, EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING TOO FAST FOR ME RIGHT NOW. JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME IN A MATTER OF WEEKS, I'M REELING AND I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT ANYMORE. SO HERE'S MY DILEMA, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? I NEED SOME FRANK OPINIONS FROM ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO I DON'T KNOW!
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Last edited by Lonewolf on Wed, May 21 2008, 2:53 PM; edited 1 time in total
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MuchoMuyKrazy
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Lonewolf
Amores Perros!
Joined: May 16 2008
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View Single Post Posted: Wed, May 21 2008, 2:57 PM Post subject:
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 | MuchoMuyKrazy dijo: |  | is there any way that you can get out of being in the interview panel, because if there is i think that would be the best thing for you to do..as for the consequences if she gets the job, it will be hard to keep your head on straight sometimes but it can be done as long as you keep a constant reminder as to why you didn't pursue the relationship in the first place...
btw good luck |
YOU KNOW I HAVE ACTUALLY TOUGHT ABOUT TAKING MYSELF OUT OF THE PANEL, BUT THEN AGAIN I THINK I CAN STILL BE IMPARTIAL, "I THINK" . . AND OF COURSE YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT WILL I BE ABLE TO KEEP MY HEAD STRAIGHT WITH HER AROUND IF SHE DOES GET THE POSITION. IN A WAY, SHE'S ALREADY BEEN AROUND, MAYBE NOT NECESSARILY IN THE SAME AGENCY, BUT NEVERTHELESS, WE BUMP HEADS ALL THE TIME AND WE HAVE EVEN WORKED SIDE BY SIDE ON A COUPLE OF TIMES ON A MUTUAL AGENCY ASSIGNMENT AND WE HAVE BEEN COOL, BUT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT "ALL THE TIME" I TELL YOU, MY MIND IS ALL TWISTED UP RIGHT NOW.
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3lmo
Put Your Head On My Shoulder
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Lonewolf
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Normies
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fsolis
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View Single Post Posted: Wed, May 21 2008, 8:55 PM Post subject:
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![[Cool]](images/smiles/smiley16.gif "Cool") Heres what I would do, business is business. All of the time in one way or another, favoritism is being granted, Its called lobbying! Of course such favors are always well disguised and most people never even get a gist of it. But, what I would do in your situation? I would try my best to get your friend the position based on her qualifications! But before I did attempt it I would make it clear to your friend that you are going to do the very best you can to support her for the position,based solely on her qualifications. Then in case she does not get the position, you know and she knows,that you tried your best for her! Also, I would not let anyone at work know that you are friends with her, or supporting her for the position. Their are just too many "ethical hypocrites," in the business world, just as in all the other parts of todays society!
I can hear them already," you can't support her because shes your friend,thats a conflict of interest!" Or some other bullshit! But on the other hand if its someone they want to see get the position,thats a totally different story! Still with all that said " read your companies code of ethics," just to be on the safe side!
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3lmo
Put Your Head On My Shoulder
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Lonewolf
Amores Perros!
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View Single Post Posted: Wed, May 21 2008, 10:49 PM Post subject:
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| Normies dijo: | | Caps are very hard or read by the way. I really like giving advise but caps hurt my eyes really bad. But from what i am getting, dont be so hard on yuorself. There is a reason she is not getting that job or job interview and at the end of the day she has to ask herself what is she doing wrong and what can she do better to improve her chances. There are job advances every so often at my job and we cant take it personal when we dont get that position.Also, i probably wouldt have gotten involved, but just tell her its not your fault nor your descion if she is declined, just tell her you 'tried' |
WELL SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS ![[]](images/smiles/image66.gif) "NOT" J/F ![[Peace!]](images/smiles/57.gif "Peace!")
I hear what you're saying, and she has been trying to do better. She is very qualified if you were to ask me, I think she would even top me in many areas in comparison as to when I applied, but the thing is that if we have 2 openings, then there's like over 100 applications come in within a week or two, word spreads like fire around here, so I just think that some applications end up on the bottom of the pile, then again, since I do know how some get a pass under the table, so I decided to do some promoting myself, thus I am simply giving her a little helping hand in having a shot at the job. I talked to her this morning and she is a smart woman, so I really don't feel that she would hold it against me if she doesn't make it, I'm more aprehensive if she does get the job, because its one thing to run into her but a whole nother thing to be around her all the time, it's like I want her to make it but at the same time I don't.
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